Bless His Cotton Hand-Socks

Winters coming around a hell of a lot faster than I'd like, and, inevitably, so is the cold weather...

Me and my friends were stood around waiting for school to begin the other day, when one of them complained that their hands were cold. My friend then turns round, and out of his mouth come the words, "Wouldn't it be good if they made socks, but ones that go on your hands to keep them warm?"

I turn around, and seeing that he's actually being serious, pat him on the shoulder and say, "I think someone might have already invented them... They're called gloves..."

Sowing Machine Fever

My brother has been driving me crazy with his annoying music, so I decided to retaliate yesterday. I went to go and see some relatives and got their sowing machine. Now all he can hear is the constant drone of the beasty thing, over the top of his music. Problem solved.

However, it turns out I'm really enjoying this box of tricks at the moment. I've used it on my art work, on christmas presents and now some of my clothes too. It's a wonder I haven't stitched my brother's mouth up yet, as he's now complaining non-stop about the noise.

Life Mathematics

Have you ever thought that two of your friends are just meant to be together, despite them not thinking the same...

Today I was in town and while walking around a shop, they decided to do the longest hug they had ever had, and so walked around the shop hugging constantly without letting go. Considering one is a little shorter than me (5ft 10" ish?) and the other is 6ft something, it was quite a funny site, however it was strangely.... meant-to-be-ish... They were giving each other knowing looks, giggling a lot etc. it, was just as if they were a couple.

They denied, however, that such a thing would not be likely.This conversation isn't over yet, while I'm around...

Exams

Yep, it’s that time of year! When the leaves are golden and crunchy under foot, children are being draped in warm clothes by their mothers and the head teachers roaming-death-squad are out on the lookout for students trying to get out of exams…

Ok, so exams aren’t that bad. All you have to do is sit through weeks of relentless revision and repetition of the same dull topics you were studying a year ago, then finally you enter the exam with a brain already feeling as if it’s been beaten with a breeze block and served with a slice of lemon.

You sit down and the invigilators bark orders at you, before being able to start the treacherous task that will inevitably lead to academic failure, but you plough on regardless, into the muddy waters of AQA examination hell.

I must admit I haven’t got the attention span for long exams. I’ll race through the papers final pages and spend the last few minutes wondering exactly how many exam papers you would have to drop from the ceiling to crush to death the moody invigilator giving you evils.

Barcodes

Barcodes, oh barcodes... Where have you been all of my life? Oh, that's right, on the back of the box...

Anyway, today I've discovered my blackberry can scan barcodes and 2D codes. The endless joy this new found bit of tech has given me...

I have made barcodes for all sorts of things, including this site. They cause so much fun in the simple minded like me, that my work had to hide the milk, because I kept scanning it, then giggling to myself at the thought of cyber-milk. They then had to take the scanner off me entirely, as I kept finding various things that could be added to their database of books, e.g. pencil case, newspaper or perhaps the toy cat...

NEW BLOG FEATURE

Face To Face

Today I've had a day of pure childishness. Well, childishness and creativity, that is, as surely they go hand in hand, no?

Well anyway, for my birthday some weeks ago, I was given a pack of stickers by my cousin, on which were different eyes and mouths, so you could give stationary and the like expressions.

Needless to say, all of my stationary now has a different face on, not to mention my friends phones, calculators and even their faces! Yeah, that's right. Faces on faces. I went there. Living life to the full eh?

Apart from that, today has been a pretty event-less day... Boring lessons, even more boring teachers... Thats school eh?

Dirty Innuendos

Today I had an RE lesson. While my table of people quietly got on with our work, we heard our Teacher say to another group, "Well, I enjoyed it, but my husband didn't."

My table all looked up, and we gave ourselves a look of surprise at what we'd just heard over the murmur of the classroom. We were just about to carry on with our work when we heard her say, "Someone held me by the back."

The thoughts were already beginning to flood the minds and ears of those of us who were eavesdropping, but this was even before she said, "At one point I had to get down on my hands and knees!"

There was us, three normal students, in a normal RE lesson (if you can call such extreme boredom normal...), when we hear things such as these said by none other than our RE teacher!

She then said, "I was quite tired at the end because of all of the adrenaline. It was very intense."

At this point we weren't sure whether we were just reading into it too much, or we were miss hearing every word, but a quick glance at each other's astonished faces confirmed that it really did sound quite bizarre.

I don't know if we were relieved or disappointed at what was said next, but one of the students she was talking to, then added, "When I was baptised it wasn't anywhere near as exciting as that..."

Well... We can at least live in hope eh?

An Embarrassing China Town Moment...

Looking back on yesterdays events it was a great day to finish the half term on. Although I'm still down that I have to return to school...

Today I was talking about the meal yesterday and remembered something that made me laugh, so I thought I would mention it.

We were sat in the restaurant, and my friends sisters were telling me all sorts of things to say in chinese. We had had some Chinese Tea, which was quite nice, sort of yellow in colour, so I asked how you say, "Would you like a cup of Tea?" One of them told me, but as it was quite a long phrase, it took me many attempts to get it right.

I then Said what I thought was the right phrase and they burst out laughing. I asked what I had said wrong and in between bouts of laughter I heard my friend say I had just offered her a cup of Urine.

Note to self... Perhaps practice the chinese a little more before putting it into action...