Just Order Some God Damn Tea.

Long time, no blog, eh? Well I'm back for round two! It's now the second year of an Average Teengaer, and there's plenty to talk about.


This month, for example, I've started a new job. I'm now a waiter in a little 1940's themed tea room, a job I enjoy enormously. Some of the people we get in the shop are just pure gold.

Yesterday we had an old Ldy and her even-more aged husband, who obviously both had difficulty hearing, as their conversations were rather loud and they could still hardly understand what each other were saying.

At one point they were talking, or rather shouting, this:

Wife: "Dave"
Husband: "Gay!"
Wife: "Dave?!"
Husband: "Gay!!"
Wife: "Dave?!?!"
Husband" NO! GAY!!"
Wife: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were saying Dave"
Husband: "Dave?"
Wife: "Gay?!"
Husband: "Dave?!?"

Thank god I gave them scones quickly. Anything to stop them shouting across the shop...

Laptops Are Addicted To Failing

I used to work on a PC, like all of the cool kids, but after years of hard interweb surfing, it finally gave up and died. It was at this point in my life I made the same bad decision as many. I switched to a Laptop.

Ok, Laptops are very portable, and give you a lot of power for their size, I can see their appeal even now.

You must realise though, that all computers age, but Laptops age like chain-smoking, binge-drinking heroin addicts. It's not long before you try to pull up internet explorer and it starts vomiting out error messages while it staggers around the room telling you you're adopted.

I think it's safe to say, I'm putting my laptop on my hate list.

Invasion Of The Cat Kind

Last night I woke up to the sound of Cat... I thought it was someone's ringtone or alarm clock or something, until I remembered that my brother, from whose room the sound was coming from, had such a crappy phone, it was neither capable nor cool enough to have a cat ring tone...

So I jumped up realising there was a cat in the house. Me being a little allergic, I was all ready with a broom to usher the perpetrator out of my home, but I find my brother feeding the feline fiend.

Noticing it's lack of collar, my instant assumption is that he's brought in a stray from the streets and is now harbouring it in his bedroom. My assumptions were half correct... He is keeping him in the house, however it's not harbouring if my parents have already consented to it.

I am not happy.

This. Is. War.

Holiday Time

Apologies for the lack of posting recently, but this average teenager has gone on some travels and is having a break from the world of cyberspace. This is partially to  rejuvinate that neglected little thing called a social life, and also because it's hard to find somewhere to go on the computer most of the time.

Hope you're all having a great summer,

          Average Teenager

Durability Testing

Today I was in town with a friend, when we decided to go into Jack Wills. For those that don't know, JW's is as expensive as a good hundred pounds of venison wrapped in a gold leaf blanket.

Upon walking into this shop, you see decoration ranging from a crystal chandelier, to a 6ft union jack made out of different coloured shot glasses. When we went upstairs, however, we decided to take a closer look at this bathtub filled with big plastic looking clear baubley shapes.

Me and my friend then started questioning what they were made out of, before he finally decided. "I'm pretty sure it's plastic" he said, dropping the bauble back into the bath. I then see the bauble fall onto the other faux bubbles, as they shatter into thousands of little pieces...

He told me off for whistling as we walked hastily out of the shop.

I agreed with him... It did make us look more suspicious....